Sam Moore [Sun, 12 Aug 2012 05:00:02 +0000 (13:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sun Aug 12 13:00:02 WST 2012
Q: What's the difference between USL and the Titanic?
A: The Titanic had a band.
Sam Moore [Sun, 12 Aug 2012 04:00:03 +0000 (12:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sun Aug 12 12:00:03 WST 2012
You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.
Sam Moore [Sun, 12 Aug 2012 03:00:02 +0000 (11:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sun Aug 12 11:00:02 WST 2012
In the Spring, I have counted 136 different kinds of weather inside of
24 hours.
-- Mark Twain, on New England weather
Sam Moore [Sun, 12 Aug 2012 02:00:03 +0000 (10:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sun Aug 12 10:00:03 WST 2012
You will pass away very quickly.
Sam Moore [Sun, 12 Aug 2012 01:00:02 +0000 (09:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sun Aug 12 09:00:02 WST 2012
I was gratified to be able to answer promptly, and I did. I said I didn't know.
-- Mark Twain
Sam Moore [Sun, 12 Aug 2012 00:00:04 +0000 (08:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sun Aug 12 08:00:04 WST 2012
Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 23:00:03 +0000 (07:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sun Aug 12 07:00:03 WST 2012
You will feel hungry again in another hour.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 22:00:02 +0000 (06:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sun Aug 12 06:00:02 WST 2012
You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 21:00:07 +0000 (05:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sun Aug 12 05:00:07 WST 2012
Swerve me? The path to my fixed purpose is laid with iron rails,
whereon my soul is grooved to run. Over unsounded gorges, through
the rifled hearts of mountains, under torrents' beds, unerringly I rush!
-- Captain Ahab, "Moby Dick"
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 20:00:03 +0000 (04:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sun Aug 12 04:00:03 WST 2012
Q: How do you play religious roulette?
A: You stand around in a circle and blaspheme and see who gets
struck by lightning first.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 19:00:02 +0000 (03:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sun Aug 12 03:00:02 WST 2012
Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. The Universe spins the bulb, and the Zen master stays out
of the way.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 18:00:08 +0000 (02:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sun Aug 12 02:00:08 WST 2012
There is no hunting like the hunting of man, and those who have hunted
armed men long enough and liked it, never care for anything else thereafter.
-- Ernest Hemingway
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sun Aug 12 01:00:02 WST 2012
"... all the modern inconveniences ..."
-- Mark Twain
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 16:00:03 +0000 (00:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sun Aug 12 00:00:03 WST 2012
Your mode of life will be changed for the better because of good news soon.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 15:00:04 +0000 (23:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 23:00:04 WST 2012
Good day for a change of scene. Repaper the bedroom wall.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 14:00:02 +0000 (22:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 22:00:02 WST 2012
You will inherit some money or a small piece of land.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 13:00:05 +0000 (21:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 21:00:05 WST 2012
Your reasoning powers are good, and you are a fairly good planner.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 12:00:03 +0000 (20:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 20:00:03 WST 2012
Your analyst has you mixed up with another patient. Don't believe a
thing he tells you.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 11:00:02 +0000 (19:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 19:00:02 WST 2012
Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket"--which is
but a manner of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention;" but the wise
man saith, "Put all your eggs in the one basket and--WATCH THAT BASKET."
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 10:00:03 +0000 (18:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 18:00:03 WST 2012
Q: What do you call a principal female opera singer whose high C
is lower than those of other principal female opera singers?
A: A deep C diva.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 09:00:03 +0000 (17:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 17:00:03 WST 2012
You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 08:00:03 +0000 (16:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 16:00:03 WST 2012
Q: What's the difference betweeen USL and the Graf Zeppelin?
A: The Graf Zeppelin represented cutting edge technology for its time.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 07:00:04 +0000 (15:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 15:00:04 WST 2012
Artistic ventures highlighted. Rob a museum.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 06:00:05 +0000 (14:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 14:00:05 WST 2012
"Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."
-- Marvin, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 05:00:05 +0000 (13:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 13:00:05 WST 2012
You would if you could but you can't so you won't.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 04:00:04 +0000 (12:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 12:00:04 WST 2012
Q: What do you call a WASP who doesn't work for his father, isn't a
lawyer, and believes in social causes?
A: A failure.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 03:00:02 +0000 (11:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 11:00:02 WST 2012
Many pages make a thick book.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 02:00:03 +0000 (10:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 10:00:03 WST 2012
You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 01:00:03 +0000 (09:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 09:00:03 WST 2012
Like an expensive sports car, fine-tuned and well-built, Portia was sleek,
shapely, and gorgeous, her red jumpsuit moulding her body, which was as warm
as seatcovers in July, her hair as dark as new tires, her eyes flashing like
bright hubcaps, and her lips as dewy as the beads of fresh rain on the hood;
she was a woman driven -- fueled by a single accelerant -- and she needed a
man, a man who wouldn't shift from his views, a man to steer her along the
right road: a man like Alf Romeo.
-- Rachel Sheeley, winner
The hair ball blocking the drain of the shower reminded Laura she would never
see her little dog Pritzi again.
-- Claudia Fields, runner-up
It could have been an organically based disturbance of the brain -- perhaps a
tumor or a metabolic deficiency -- but after a thorough neurological exam it
was determined that Byron was simply a jerk.
-- Jeff Jahnke, runner-up
Winners in the 7th Annual Bulwer-Lytton Bad Writing Contest. The contest is
named after the author of the immortal lines: "It was a dark and stormy
night." The object of the contest is to write the opening sentence of the
worst possible novel.
Sam Moore [Sat, 11 Aug 2012 00:00:03 +0000 (08:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 08:00:03 WST 2012
You attempt things that you do not even plan because of your extreme stupidity.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 23:00:03 +0000 (07:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 07:00:03 WST 2012
You will pass away very quickly.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 22:00:03 +0000 (06:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 06:00:03 WST 2012
Your manuscript is both good and original, but the part that is good is not
original and the part that is original is not good.
-- Samuel Johnson
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 21:00:03 +0000 (05:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 05:00:03 WST 2012
Hope that the day after you die is a nice day.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 20:00:02 +0000 (04:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 04:00:02 WST 2012
Communicate! It can't make things any worse.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 19:00:05 +0000 (03:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 03:00:05 WST 2012
Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One. He gives it to six Californians, thereby reducing the problem
to the earlier joke.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 18:00:06 +0000 (02:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 02:00:06 WST 2012
When angry, count four; when very angry, swear.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 01:00:02 WST 2012
Awash with unfocused desire, Everett twisted the lobe of his one remaining
ear and felt the presence of somebody else behind him, which caused terror
to push through his nervous system like a flash flood roaring down the
mid-fork of the Feather River before the completion of the Oroville Dam
in 1959.
-- Grand Panjandrum's Special Award, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton
bad fiction contest.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 16:00:05 +0000 (00:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Sat Aug 11 00:00:05 WST 2012
The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that
procession but carrying a banner.
-- Mark Twain
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 15:00:08 +0000 (23:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 23:00:08 WST 2012
Q: What's the difference between a Mac and an Etch-a-Sketch?
A: You don't have to shake the Mac to clear the screen.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 14:00:03 +0000 (22:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 22:00:03 WST 2012
The countdown had stalled at 'T' minus 69 seconds when Desiree, the first
female ape to go up in space, winked at me slyly and pouted her thick,
rubbery lips unmistakably -- the first of many such advances during what
would prove to be the longest, and most memorable, space voyage of my
career.
-- Winning sentence, 1985 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 13:00:03 +0000 (21:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 21:00:03 WST 2012
You're growing out of some of your problems, but there are others that
you're growing into.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 12:00:03 +0000 (20:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 20:00:03 WST 2012
Your step will soil many countries.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 11:00:02 +0000 (19:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 19:00:02 WST 2012
Beware of low-flying butterflies.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 10:00:05 +0000 (18:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 18:00:05 WST 2012
You will be married within a year, and divorced within two.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 09:00:05 +0000 (17:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 17:00:05 WST 2012
You are farsighted, a good planner, an ardent lover, and a faithful friend.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 08:00:03 +0000 (16:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 16:00:03 WST 2012
Are you making all this up as you go along?
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 07:00:03 +0000 (15:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 15:00:03 WST 2012
Q: Where's the Lone Ranger take his garbage?
A: To the dump, to the dump, to the dump dump dump!
Q: What's the Pink Panther say when he steps on an ant hill?
A: Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant...
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 06:00:03 +0000 (14:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 14:00:03 WST 2012
Change your thoughts and you change your world.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 05:00:04 +0000 (13:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 13:00:04 WST 2012
Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Whereas the party of the first part, also known as "Lawyer", and the
party of the second part, also known as "Light Bulb", do hereby and forthwith
agree to a transaction wherein the party of the second part shall be removed
from the current position as a result of failure to perform previously agreed
upon duties, i.e., the lighting, elucidation, and otherwise illumination of
the area ranging from the front (north) door, through the entryway, terminating
at an area just inside the primary living area, demarcated by the beginning of
the carpet, any spillover illumination being at the option of the party of the
second part and not required by the aforementioned agreement between the
parties.
The aforementioned removal transaction shall include, but not be
limited to, the following. The party of the first part shall, with or without
elevation at his option, by means of a chair, stepstool, ladder or any other
means of elevation, grasp the party of the second part and rotate the party
of the second part in a counter-clockwise direction, this point being tendered
non-negotiable. Upon reaching a point where the party of the second part
becomes fully detached from the receptacle, the party of the first part shall
have the option of disposing of the party of the second part in a manner
consistent with all relevant and applicable local, state and federal statutes.
Once separation and disposal have been achieved, the party of the first part
shall have the option of beginning installation. Aforesaid installation shall
occur in a manner consistent with the reverse of the procedures described in
step one of this self-same document, being careful to note that the rotation
should occur in a clockwise direction, this point also being non-negotiable.
The above described steps may be performed, at the option of the party of the
first part, by any or all agents authorized by him, the objective being to
produce the most possible revenue for the Partnership.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 04:00:02 +0000 (12:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 12:00:02 WST 2012
You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 03:00:02 +0000 (11:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 11:00:02 WST 2012
It's lucky you're going so slowly, because you're going in the wrong direction.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 02:00:03 +0000 (10:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 10:00:03 WST 2012
You now have Asian Flu.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 01:00:06 +0000 (09:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 09:00:06 WST 2012
Don't look now, but the man in the moon is laughing at you.
Sam Moore [Fri, 10 Aug 2012 00:00:07 +0000 (08:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 08:00:07 WST 2012
You may worry about your hair-do today, but tomorrow much peanut butter will
be sold.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 23:00:05 +0000 (07:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 07:00:05 WST 2012
You will become rich and famous unless you don't.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 22:00:02 +0000 (06:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 06:00:02 WST 2012
Q: Why did the WASP cross the road?
A: To get to the middle.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 21:00:06 +0000 (05:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 05:00:06 WST 2012
All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"--a strange complaint to come from
the mouths of people who have had to live.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 20:00:04 +0000 (04:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 04:00:04 WST 2012
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we
are not the person involved.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 19:00:04 +0000 (03:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 03:00:03 WST 2012
Q: What is purple and conquered the world?
A: Alexander the Grape.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 18:00:02 +0000 (02:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 02:00:02 WST 2012
So this is it. We're going to die.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 01:00:02 WST 2012
You too can wear a nose mitten.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 16:00:03 +0000 (00:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Fri Aug 10 00:00:03 WST 2012
You are a very redundant person, that's what kind of person you are.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 15:00:02 +0000 (23:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 23:00:02 WST 2012
Chicken Little only has to be right once.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 14:00:05 +0000 (22:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 22:00:05 WST 2012
You're working under a slight handicap. You happen to be human.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 13:00:03 +0000 (21:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 21:00:03 WST 2012
Let him choose out of my files, his projects to accomplish.
-- Shakespeare, "Coriolanus"
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 12:00:02 +0000 (20:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 20:00:02 WST 2012
You're growing out of some of your problems, but there are others that
you're growing into.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 11:00:02 +0000 (19:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 19:00:02 WST 2012
Q: How many WASPs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 10:00:02 +0000 (18:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 18:00:02 WST 2012
You will be run over by a beer truck.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 09:00:03 +0000 (17:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 17:00:03 WST 2012
Tuesday After Lunch is the cosmic time of the week.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 08:00:03 +0000 (16:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 16:00:03 WST 2012
Q: What do you say to a New Yorker with a job?
A: Big Mac, fries and a Coke, please!
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 07:00:04 +0000 (15:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 15:00:04 WST 2012
Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet?
A: To stamp out forest fires.
Q: Why do elephants have big flat feet?
A: To stamp out flaming ducks.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 06:00:06 +0000 (14:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 14:00:06 WST 2012
Q: What do you have when you have a lawyer buried up to his neck in sand?
A: Not enough sand.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 05:00:06 +0000 (13:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 13:00:06 WST 2012
A Tale of Two Cities LITE(tm)
-- by Charles Dickens
A man in love with a girl who loves another man who looks just
like him has his head chopped off in France because of a mean
lady who knits.
Crime and Punishment LITE(tm)
-- by Fyodor Dostoevski
A man sends a nasty letter to a pawnbroker, but later
feels guilty and apologizes.
The Odyssey LITE(tm)
-- by Homer
After working late, a valiant warrior gets lost on his way home.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 04:59:59 +0000 (12:59 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 12:59:59 WST 2012
You will be run over by a bus.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 03:00:03 +0000 (11:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 11:00:03 WST 2012
Q: What do you call a WASP who doesn't work for his father, isn't a
lawyer, and believes in social causes?
A: A failure.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 02:00:04 +0000 (10:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 10:00:04 WST 2012
Don't relax! It's only your tension that's holding you together.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 01:00:03 +0000 (09:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 09:00:03 WST 2012
In the plot, people came to the land; the land loved them; they worked and
struggled and had lots of children. There was a Frenchman who talked funny
and a greenhorn from England who was a fancy-pants but when it came to the
crunch he was all courage. Those novels would make you retch.
-- Canadian novelist Robertson Davies, on the generic Canadian
novel.
Sam Moore [Thu, 9 Aug 2012 00:00:03 +0000 (08:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 08:00:03 WST 2012
Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big
enough majority in any town?
-- Mark Twain, "Huckleberry Finn"
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 23:00:04 +0000 (07:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 07:00:04 WST 2012
I don't know half of you half as well as I should like; and I like less
than half of you half as well as you deserve.
-- J. R. R. Tolkien
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 22:00:06 +0000 (06:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 06:00:06 WST 2012
The very ink with which all history is written is merely fluid prejudice.
-- Mark Twain
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 21:00:03 +0000 (05:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 05:00:03 WST 2012
This will be a memorable month -- no matter how hard you try to forget it.
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 20:00:05 +0000 (04:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 04:00:05 WST 2012
There are more things in heaven and earth,
Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.
-- Wm. Shakespeare, "Hamlet"
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 19:00:03 +0000 (03:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 03:00:03 WST 2012
Q: How did you get into artificial intelligence?
A: Seemed logical -- I didn't have any real intelligence.
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 18:00:02 +0000 (02:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 02:00:02 WST 2012
Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
-- Mark Twain
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 17:00:07 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 01:00:06 WST 2012
Are you ever going to do the dishes? Or will you change your major to biology?
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 16:00:06 +0000 (00:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Thu Aug 9 00:00:06 WST 2012
Q: What does it say on the bottom of Coke cans in North Dakota?
A: Open other end.
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 15:00:03 +0000 (23:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Wed Aug 8 23:00:03 WST 2012
Q: How do you stop an elephant from charging?
A: Take away his credit cards.
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 14:00:02 +0000 (22:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Wed Aug 8 22:00:02 WST 2012
There are three infallible ways of pleasing an author, and the three form a
rising scale of compliment: 1, to tell him you have read one of his books; 2,
to tell him you have read all of his books; 3, to ask him to let you read the
manuscript of his forthcoming book. No. 1 admits you to his respect; No. 2
admits you to his admiration; No. 3 carries you clear into his heart.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 13:00:03 +0000 (21:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Wed Aug 8 21:00:03 WST 2012
Are you a turtle?
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 12:00:02 +0000 (20:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Wed Aug 8 20:00:02 WST 2012
Perfect day for scrubbing the floor and other exciting things.
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 11:17:44 +0000 (19:17 +0800)]
Add figures
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 11:00:03 +0000 (19:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Wed Aug 8 19:00:03 WST 2012
You will be successful in love.
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 10:00:43 +0000 (18:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Wed Aug 8 18:00:43 WST 2012
Is that really YOU that is reading this?
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 09:00:04 +0000 (17:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Wed Aug 8 17:00:04 WST 2012
Chicken Little was right.
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 08:00:03 +0000 (16:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Wed Aug 8 16:00:03 WST 2012
The lovely woman-child Kaa was mercilessly chained to the cruel post of
the warrior-chief Beast, with his barbarian tribe now stacking wood at
her nubile feet, when the strong clear voice of the poetic and heroic
Handsomas roared, 'Flick your Bic, crisp that chick, and you'll feel my
steel through your last meal!'
-- Winning sentence, 1984 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 07:00:03 +0000 (15:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Wed Aug 8 15:00:03 WST 2012
Q: How was Thomas J. Watson buried?
A: 9 edge down.
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 06:00:05 +0000 (14:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Wed Aug 8 14:00:05 WST 2012
You will be traveling and coming into a fortune.
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 04:00:08 +0000 (12:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Wed Aug 8 12:00:08 WST 2012
Your temporary financial embarrassment will be relieved in a surprising manner.
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 03:00:20 +0000 (11:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Wed Aug 8 11:00:20 WST 2012
Q: Why did the lone ranger kill Tonto?
A: He found out what "kimosabe" really means.
Sam Moore [Wed, 8 Aug 2012 02:00:03 +0000 (10:00 +0800)]
Automatic commit. Wed Aug 8 10:00:03 WST 2012
Ships are safe in harbor, but they were never meant to stay there.
UCC git Repository :: git.ucc.asn.au