C R Onjob [Sat, 13 Dec 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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I think we are in Rats' Alley where the dead men lost their bones.
-- T.S. Eliot
C R Onjob [Thu, 11 Dec 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Q: What do you call a principal female opera singer whose high C
is lower than those of other principal female opera singers?
A: A deep C diva.
C R Onjob [Mon, 1 Dec 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Your true value depends entirely on what you are compared with.
C R Onjob [Sun, 30 Nov 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Be careful! UGLY strikes 9 out of 10!
C R Onjob [Fri, 14 Nov 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Your society will be sought by people of taste and refinement.
C R Onjob [Wed, 12 Nov 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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I'll burn my books.
-- Christopher Marlowe
C R Onjob [Tue, 11 Nov 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You are standing on my toes.
C R Onjob [Sat, 8 Nov 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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This was the most unkindest cut of all.
-- William Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar"
C R Onjob [Tue, 4 Nov 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Q: Why did the astrophysicist order three hamburgers?
A: Because he was hungry.
C R Onjob [Sat, 1 Nov 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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October 12, the Discovery.
It was wonderful to find America, but it would have been more wonderful to miss
it.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
C R Onjob [Thu, 30 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You will win success in whatever calling you adopt.
C R Onjob [Mon, 27 Oct 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Delores breezed along the surface of her life like a flat stone forever
skipping along smooth water, rippling reality sporadically but oblivious
to it consistently, until she finally lost momentum, sank, and due to an
overdose of flouride as a child which caused her to suffer from chronic
apathy, doomed herself to lie forever on the floor of her life as useless
as an appendix and as lonely as a five-hundred pound barbell in a
steroid-free fitness center.
-- Winning sentence, 1990 Bulwer-Lytton bad fiction contest.
C R Onjob [Sun, 26 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Never reveal your best argument.
C R Onjob [Sat, 25 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Q: "What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic
existentialist?"
A: "Is there a dog?"
C R Onjob [Thu, 23 Oct 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You will probably marry after a very brief courtship.
C R Onjob [Wed, 22 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Give your very best today. Heaven knows it's little enough.
C R Onjob [Tue, 21 Oct 2014 17:00:04 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Let us endeavor so to live that when we come to die even the undertaker will be
sorry.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
David Gow [Tue, 21 Oct 2014 06:57:03 +0000 (14:57 +0800)]
Merge branch 'master' of git.ucc.asn.au:ipdf/documents
David Gow [Tue, 21 Oct 2014 06:56:50 +0000 (14:56 +0800)]
All of the apologies.
C R Onjob [Mon, 20 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Don't get to bragging.
C R Onjob [Sun, 19 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Q: Why did the WASP cross the road?
A: To get to the middle.
C R Onjob [Wed, 15 Oct 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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He is now rising from affluence to poverty.
-- Mark Twain
C R Onjob [Tue, 14 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Your present plans will be successful.
C R Onjob [Mon, 13 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
-- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"
C R Onjob [Sun, 12 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Gone With The Wind LITE(tm)
-- by Margaret Mitchell
A woman only likes men she can't have and the South gets trashed.
Gift of the Magi LITE(tm)
-- by O. Henry
A husband and wife forget to register their gift preferences.
The Old Man and the Sea LITE(tm)
-- by Ernest Hemingway
An old man goes fishing, but doesn't have much luck.
C R Onjob [Sat, 11 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Q: Do you know what the death rate around here is?
A: One per person.
C R Onjob [Fri, 10 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You love peace.
C R Onjob [Thu, 9 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You have many friends and very few living enemies.
C R Onjob [Wed, 8 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You will gain money by an illegal action.
C R Onjob [Tue, 7 Oct 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Stay away from flying saucers today.
C R Onjob [Mon, 6 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Domestic happiness and faithful friends.
C R Onjob [Sun, 5 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #15
A: The Royal Canadian Mounted Police.
Q: What was the greatest achievement in taxidermy?
C R Onjob [Sat, 4 Oct 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Delay not, Caesar. Read it instantly.
-- Shakespeare, "Julius Caesar" 3,1
Here is a letter, read it at your leisure.
-- Shakespeare, "Merchant of Venice" 5,1
[Quoted in "VMS Internals and Data Structures", V4.4, when
referring to I/O system services.]
C R Onjob [Wed, 24 Sep 2014 17:00:01 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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So you're back... about time...
C R Onjob [Sun, 21 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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"You have been in Afghanistan, I perceive."
-- Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, "A Study in Scarlet"
C R Onjob [Sat, 20 Sep 2014 17:00:01 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Don't get stuck in a closet -- wear yourself out.
C R Onjob [Fri, 19 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.
C R Onjob [Thu, 18 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You will be awarded the Nobel Peace Prize... posthumously.
C R Onjob [Wed, 17 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Just to have it is enough.
C R Onjob [Tue, 16 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Wagner's music is better than it sounds.
-- Mark Twain
C R Onjob [Mon, 15 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.
-- Ashleigh Brilliant
C R Onjob [Sun, 14 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and
enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to
lend money.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
C R Onjob [Sat, 13 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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The devil can cite Scripture for his purpose.
-- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"
C R Onjob [Fri, 12 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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"Elves and Dragons!" I says to him. "Cabbages and potatoes are better
for you and me."
-- J. R. R. Tolkien
C R Onjob [Thu, 11 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Never give an inch!
C R Onjob [Wed, 10 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Your aims are high, and you are capable of much.
C R Onjob [Mon, 8 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Lay on, MacDuff, and curs'd be him who first cries, "Hold, enough!".
-- Shakespeare
C R Onjob [Sun, 7 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Q: What do Winnie the Pooh and John the Baptist have in common?
A: The same middle name.
C R Onjob [Fri, 5 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Q: "What is the burning question on the mind of every dyslexic
existentialist?"
A: "Is there a dog?"
C R Onjob [Thu, 4 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: To see his friend Gregory peck.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the playground?
A: To get to the other slide.
C R Onjob [Wed, 3 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You will inherit millions of dollars.
C R Onjob [Tue, 2 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You will get what you deserve.
C R Onjob [Mon, 1 Sep 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Sheriff Chameleotoptor sighed with an air of weary sadness, and then
turned to Doppelgutt and said 'The Senator must really have been on a
bender this time -- he left a party in Cleveland, Ohio, at 11:30 last
night, and they found his car this morning in the smokestack of a British
aircraft carrier in the Formosa Straits.'
-- Grand Panjandrum's Special Award, 1985 Bulwer-Lytton
bad fiction contest.
C R Onjob [Thu, 28 Aug 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You prefer the company of the opposite sex, but are well liked by your own.
C R Onjob [Wed, 27 Aug 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Be careful! UGLY strikes 9 out of 10!
C R Onjob [Tue, 26 Aug 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Writing is turning one's worst moments into money.
-- J.P. Donleavy
C R Onjob [Mon, 25 Aug 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You are fighting for survival in your own sweet and gentle way.
C R Onjob [Sun, 24 Aug 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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When in doubt, tell the truth.
-- Mark Twain
C R Onjob [Thu, 21 Aug 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Q: What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead
lawyer in the road?
A: There are skid marks in front of the dog.
C R Onjob [Wed, 20 Aug 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You're a card which will have to be dealt with.
C R Onjob [Tue, 19 Aug 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You will be called upon to help a friend in trouble.
C R Onjob [Mon, 18 Aug 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Beware of low-flying butterflies.
C R Onjob [Sun, 17 Aug 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Must I hold a candle to my shames?
-- William Shakespeare, "The Merchant of Venice"
C R Onjob [Fri, 15 Aug 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Q: Why did the WASP cross the road?
A: To get to the middle.
C R Onjob [Thu, 14 Aug 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Fortune: You will be attacked next Wednesday at 3:15 p.m. by six samurai
sword wielding purple fish glued to Harley-Davidson motorcycles.
Oh, and have a nice day!
-- Bryce Nesbitt '84
C R Onjob [Wed, 13 Aug 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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FORTUNE PROVIDES QUESTIONS FOR THE GREAT ANSWERS: #21
A: Dr. Livingston I. Presume.
Q: What's Dr. Presume's full name?
C R Onjob [Tue, 12 Aug 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You look tired.
C R Onjob [Mon, 11 Aug 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You will remember, Watson, how the dreadful business of the
Abernetty family was first brought to my notice by the depth which the
parsley had sunk into the butter upon a hot day.
-- Sherlock Holmes
C R Onjob [Fri, 8 Aug 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You will be successful in love.
C R Onjob [Thu, 7 Aug 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You will always get the greatest recognition for the job you least like.
C R Onjob [Wed, 6 Aug 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Q: How many lawyers does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Only it's his light bulb when he's done.
C R Onjob [Tue, 5 Aug 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Patch griefs with proverbs.
-- William Shakespeare, "Much Ado About Nothing"
C R Onjob [Sun, 3 Aug 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Q: How does the Polish Constitution differ from the American?
A: Under the Polish Constitution citizens are guaranteed freedom of
speech, but under the United States constitution they are
guaranteed freedom after speech.
-- being told in Poland, 1987
C R Onjob [Wed, 30 Jul 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You may be gone tomorrow, but that doesn't mean that you weren't here today.
C R Onjob [Tue, 29 Jul 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
-- Mark Twain
C R Onjob [Mon, 28 Jul 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Beware of Bigfoot!
C R Onjob [Fri, 25 Jul 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You mentioned your name as if I should recognize it, but beyond the
obvious facts that you are a bachelor, a solicitor, a freemason, and
an asthmatic, I know nothing whatever about you.
-- Sherlock Holmes, "The Norwood Builder"
C R Onjob [Thu, 24 Jul 2014 17:00:04 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You love peace.
Sam Moore [Thu, 24 Jul 2014 13:06:58 +0000 (21:06 +0800)]
Less terrible FloatingPointCPUvsGPU writeup
Less blatantly wrong more kind of actually formal.
David got the nVidia and intel screenshots.
Sam Moore [Thu, 24 Jul 2014 11:34:01 +0000 (19:34 +0800)]
Notes on how GPUs suck at rendering circles
Not very well written but at least they exist.
Sam Moore [Thu, 24 Jul 2014 10:37:17 +0000 (18:37 +0800)]
More dodgy notes on Arbints
Blergh
C R Onjob [Mon, 7 Jul 2014 17:00:04 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You can create your own opportunities this week. Blackmail a senior executive.
Sam Moore [Mon, 7 Jul 2014 12:30:10 +0000 (20:30 +0800)]
Merge branch 'master' of git.ucc.asn.au:/ipdf/documents
I got really excited that stuff had been pushed to the repo and then I saw it was just the IRC logs again.
Sam Moore [Mon, 7 Jul 2014 12:25:48 +0000 (20:25 +0800)]
Notes on integers
Not having done much pure maths feel like I'm saying everything wrong :S
Will fill in the "algorithm" bits at some point, since that's the bit we actually care about.
Sam Moore [Mon, 7 Jul 2014 11:27:57 +0000 (19:27 +0800)]
Tidy up documents repo
So we can write some more documents.
C R Onjob [Sun, 6 Jul 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You look like a million dollars. All green and wrinkled.
C R Onjob [Sat, 5 Jul 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You are as I am with You.
C R Onjob [Fri, 4 Jul 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You have a truly strong individuality.
Sam Moore [Fri, 4 Jul 2014 08:47:42 +0000 (16:47 +0800)]
Add hard copy of Sam's Lit Review and fix papers.bib
There were syntax errors for some reason.
Lit Review is as submitted except broken reference to Figure in the Progress report is fixed.
C R Onjob [Wed, 2 Jul 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Rebellion lay in his way, and he found it.
-- William Shakespeare, "Henry IV"
C R Onjob [Thu, 26 Jun 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You will reach the highest possible point in your business or profession.
C R Onjob [Wed, 25 Jun 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You will inherit millions of dollars.
C R Onjob [Tue, 24 Jun 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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A gift of a flower will soon be made to you.
C R Onjob [Mon, 23 Jun 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Q: What do you call a blind pre-historic animal?
A: Diyathinkhesaurus.
Q: What do you call a blind pre-historic animal with a dog?
A: Diyathinkhesaurus Rex.
C R Onjob [Sat, 21 Jun 2014 17:00:03 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You need more time; and you probably always will.
C R Onjob [Thu, 19 Jun 2014 17:00:01 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Are you sure the back door is locked?
C R Onjob [Wed, 18 Jun 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Are you ever going to do the dishes? Or will you change your major to biology?
C R Onjob [Tue, 17 Jun 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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You will become rich and famous unless you don't.
C R Onjob [Mon, 16 Jun 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Your talents will be recognized and suitably rewarded.
C R Onjob [Fri, 13 Jun 2014 17:00:02 +0000 (01:00 +0800)]
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Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.
UCC git Repository :: git.ucc.asn.au